Signs of a Controlling or Abusive Relationship
As Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month is coming to an end, here at PAVE we wanted to take some time to shine a light on the warning signs of controlling or abusive relationships because they aren’t always obvious. When in a relationship, it can be hard to see the red flags of abusive or controlling behavior because so often we want to see the good in our partner and not how they might be hurting us. There are many different ways in which abuse can show up in relationships whether it is physical, emotional, digital, or sexual abuse.
Here are some warning signs that a relationship has become physically abusive:
● Being put in unsafe situations
● Being pressured or forced to take drugs or drink alcohol to impair judgement
● Having a weapon used as a way to threaten or harm
● Hits or physically harms in any way including (pushing, hair pulling, grabbing, etc.)
Here are some warning signs that a relationship has become emotionally or verbally
abusive:
● Minimizes your needs, feelings, or boundaries
● Calling names, criticizing, or berating
● Makes threats or controls actions
● Isolating from friends or family
● Blames the actions of their partner for their outburst reactions
Here are some warning signs that a relationship has become digitally abusive:
● Forcing the share of passwords and login information
● Monitoring who their partner is and isn’t following
● Tracking location and whereabouts through social media
● Posting sensitive information online without consent
● Harassing through text or direct message
Here are some warning signs that a relationship has become sexually abusive:
● Tries to engage partner in sexual activity they aren’t ready for
● Refuses to use protection or contraception from STIs and pregnancy even though partner
has asked
● Stealthing- removing condom during sex without partner’s consent
● Touching body sexually without consent
● Tampering with birth control
● Distributing or possessing nudes without consent
● Attempting to use drugs or alcohol to impair judgement
If after reading these warning signs, you feel like you are in an abusive relationship, know that there is help available. If you suspect that someone you love is in an abusive relationship, there are ways that you can help even if you don’t know how to talk to them about it. If you are the teen’s parent and you suspect that your child is in an abusive relationship, the best thing to do is keep an open dialogue and communication going. More than anything teens want to feel a sense of independence and like you trust their ability to take care of themselves. Telling a teen that they can’t see their current partner because you don’t like the relationship or feel like it is unhealthy, may end up pushing them closer to that partner. The best thing to do is be honest with your child about how you feel the relationship is affecting them and talk about the signs of abuse that you are actively seeing in their relationship.
For more resources:
Go to https://www.survivors.org/domestic-violence
If you would like someone to talk to immediately then please call:
1-866-331-9474
Sources:
https://www.survivors.org
https://www.rainn.org
@paveinfo on Instagram
Written by: Spring 2022 Intern Taylor Duckworth
