#TakeBackTheSwipe & Digital Consent
Take Back The Swipe & Digital Consent
Our current social climate relies increasingly on the digital world. Many of us find ourselves turning to virtual platforms to make connections with others, including for online dating. Online dating is not exempt from the same risks of in-person relationships. Dating app violence is serious, prevalent, and preventable. PAVE is launching #TakeBacktheSwipe, a national campaign to raise awareness and shatter the silence around dating app violence, particularly for college students.
Today, dating app usage is at an all time high. As of January, 2020, an estimated 30 percent of all adults and 48 percent of Americans aged 18-29 have used dating apps in some capacity. This number shifts greatly with age and sexual orientation. Lesbian, gay, or bisexual adults are roughly twice as likely to have used dating apps compared to their heterosexual counterparts. (Pew Research Center, February 2020)
Little research exists about the ways in which LGBT and BIPOC individuals are affected by dating app violence, although we can infer from general statistics. 44 percent of lesbians and 61 percent of bisexual women are survivors of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35 percent of straight women (CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey). Additionally, 26 percent of gay men and 37 percent of bisexual men are survivors of rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 29 percent of straight men (CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey). While 80% of rapes are reported by white women, BIPOC are significantly more likely to be sexually assaulted than white women (Women of Color Network Facts & Stats: Domestic Violence in Communities of Color – June 2006). Ultimately, Racism causes additional barriers, which contributes to why black and indigenous women are less likely than white women to report their assault.
Approximately 3 in 10 online dating users report someone continuing to contact them on a dating site or app after they said they were not interested (37 percent), sent them an unwanted sexually explicit message or image (35 percent), or spoke to them with offensive language (28 percent). These statistics rise among women younger than 34 years old, with approximately 6 for every 10 reporting similar experiences (Pew Research Center, February 2020).
Preventative education often includes information on what consent is in-person, but fails to address digital consent. Consent is required in all interactions–including those on dating apps, on social media, or over text. Interactions should always be comfortable and consensual.
Like in person, digital consent must be ongoing. A conversation one day does not mean that you have a right to pursue conversation indefinitely. When sharing personal information, you get to decide when and how much information you wish to share with another person, and respect others' choices to do the same.
Although most dating apps do not allow for the sending of images and most images are sent offline, some do. Always ask if an individual is comfortable receiving an explicit picture. Anything short of an agreement, including hesitance, means no. If one does not want to send photos or engage in any type of conversation, any type of pressuring or guilting into compliance is assault. If consent is acquired, confidentiality is a part of that consent. The non-consensual distribution of explicit images is both illegal and assault. Although dating apps do not allow minors, individuals can still lie about their age, so it is important to be conscious. Consent belongs in every interaction, regardless of where it occurs.
Conversations via dating apps often shift onto separate platforms. It is important to never pressure someone into moving the conversation to a different platform (text, Snapchat, etc.) or to meet up in-person. Pressuring or guilting someone into doing something by using force or threats is coercion.
Swiping on a dating app does not equal consent. It is the responsibility of dating app creators, educators, and users alike to promote, practice, and understand this. #TakeBacktheSwipe aims to empower individuals to speak out about the realities of dating app violence. If you are a survivor of dating app violence, know that you are not alone and it is not your fault. PAVE is committed to supporting, serving, and standing with all survivors of sexual violence. Everyone has the right to partake in dating both in person and online without the fear of assault. It is time that we #TakeBackTheSwipe.
Our current social climate relies increasingly on the digital world. Especially amidst the coronavirus pandemic, many of us find ourselves–very validly– turning to virtual platforms to make connections with others. Isolation is trying, and as social dynamics are shifting online, our own tendencies shift accordingly. This includes, but is not limited to, an increasing reliance on dating apps. Whereas these various platforms truly hold the potential for genuine connection, they too have their own host of problems. The digital world of dating is not in any way exempt from the same risks that infiltrate in-person relationships. Dating app violence is serious, prevalent, and preventable. That is why PAVE is launching #TakeBacktheSwipe, a national campaign launching this week and centering around dating app sexual violence, particularly for college students. Take Back the Swipe aims to promote awareness and shatter the silence on such issues, a movement perhaps long overdue.
Today, dating app usage is at an all time high. As of January, 2020, an estimated 48 percent of Americans aged 18-29 have used dating apps in some capacity, although this number shifts greatly with age and sexual orientation. Lesbian, gay, or bisexual adults are roughly twice as likely to have used dating apps when compared to their heterosexual counterparts. Motives for usage vary quite significantly: for fun, to meet people, for casual sex encounters, out of boredom. Many of these motives are exactly the same as those for in-person dating. Dating apps are fairly successful too–approximately 60% of users report positive outcomes. More and more people report finding lifetime partners through a virtual dating platform. But, perhaps predictably, statistics on sexual and dating violence translate online as well.
Approximately 3 in 10 online dating users report someone continuing to contact them on a dating site or app after they said they were not interested (37 percent), sent them an unwanted sexually explicit message or image (35 percent), or spoke to them with offensive language (28 percent). About one-in-ten (9 percent) say another user has threatened to physically harm them. Although no one is exempt from potentially predatory interactions via dating apps, women, LGBT, and non-white individuals are perhaps disproportionally targeted. The aforementioned statistics rise starkly when sampling young women specifically (below 34 years old), with approximately 6 for every 10 women reporting similar experiences.
Little research exists to uncover the ways in which BIPOC and LGBT individuals are affected by dating app violence specifically, although general statistics on sexual violence see higher numbers within these groups, allowing us to make concrete inferences. From the CDC’s National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey in 2010, 44 percent of lesbians and 61 percent of bisexual women experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 35 percent of straight women. 26 percent of gay men and 37 percent of bisexual men experience rape, physical violence, or stalking by an intimate partner, compared to 29 percent of straight men. The CDC’s 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey found that roughly 47 percent of transgender people are sexually assaulted at some point in their lifetime. With LGBT users more likely to use dating apps, we can infer that dating app violence among such groups specifically occurs at higher rates. Similar conclusions can be drawn with regard to BIPOC individuals. While 80% of rapes are reported by white women, BIPOC are significantly more likely to be sexually assaulted than white women. Yet due to a host of additional barriers, these women are less likely than their white counterparts to report their assault. This applies across all non-white identities--- Black women, Indigenous women, Latina women, Asian/Pacific Islander women. Because of this, we can infer with some certainty that this translates online as well.
These statistics are jarring. However, they are by no means presented in order to discourage users of dating apps. Rather, they demonstrate a profound lack of preventative education and precaution on behalf of dating app creators and educators. The vast majority of preventative education on sexual assault and violence includes nothing on online dating. As there is so little academic research on dating app violence in the first place (with the studies that do exist disproportionally sample, straight, cis, white individuals), that narratives either tend to stigmatize users outright, or brush over violent and abusive experiences so many are exposed to online. Those who experience such violence are made to feel as if they somehow asked for their own assault by taking part in online dating, or perhaps that their experience was not assault at all, but a given and predictable outcome for using a dating app in the first place.
Educational programming often includes information on what consent is in person, as it should, but fails to address what this looks like virtually. It is imperative to address consent in the context of dating apps, especially in the current digital era. Consent is required in all interactions–including those on dating apps, on social media, or over text. Such interactions should be comfortable, always. They should be free from pressure, and fully consensual. Below, please find outlined an overview of what digital consent looks like in concrete terms.
After a match on a dating app, conversations typically follow. These conversations should be reciprocal. A lack of response signifies a lack of interest, and should be treated as such. Like consent in physical interactions, digital consent must be ongoing. A conversation one day does not mean that you have a right to pursue conversation indefinitely. With regard to exchanging personal information, be conscious of what you are sharing and to whom. Likewise, do not pressure others to share with you their own personal information.
Although most dating apps do not allow for the sending of images, some do. Always ask if an individual is comfortable receiving an explicit picture. Anything short of an agreement, including any degree of hesitance, means no. If one does not want to send photos or engage in any type of conversation, any type of pressuring or guilting into compliance is assault. Furthermore. if consent is acquired, confidentiality is a part of that consent. The non-consensual distribution of explicit images is assault, and in the case that a minor is involved, it is also illegal. In the case of dating apps, where sometimes individuals do lie about their age, it is important to be conscious of legality, which varies from state to state and can have severe consequences. Consent belongs in every interaction, regardless of where that interaction occurs.
Conversations via dating apps often shift onto separate platforms, or even eventually result in an in-person interaction, where in-person consent would then be required. Never pressure someone into moving the conversation to a different platform (text, Snapchat, etc.). Similarly, never pressure someone into meeting up in-person. Although these meetups can and often do run successfully, meeting someone new always involves an element of risk. If you do plan to meet up with someone from a dating app, be sure to let a trusted individual know of your plans and location beforehand.
Swiping on a dating app does not equal consent. It is the responsibility of dating app creators, educators, and users alike to promote, practice, and understand this. #TakeBacktheSwipe aims to encourage this, to pressure those with influence to speak out and up about the realities of dating app violence. We are working to make public and concrete the statistics of dating app violence across the board, with the nuance and accuracy that all survivors, regardless of identity, deserve. If you are a survivor of dating app violence, know that you are not alone. Know that the blame lies solely on the perpetrator, and the systems that allow such behavior to go unquestioned. Know that there are resources for you, and people at PAVE here to listen and help you. Everyone has the right to partake in dating, both in person and online, without the fear of assault. Until that is obtained, we have work to do.
