Identifying A Rape Apologist
“Rape Apologist” is an umbrella term for someone who for someone who blames survivors, has a general disbelief in allegations of assault, and participates in the normalization of sexual violence. They can be any person of any gender identity, sexuality, race, ethnicity, or age. While the term make evoke an image of a particular group or type of person, in reality, anyone can be a rape apologist. A rape apologist is not just someone who is outwardly aggressive towards survivors who speak out or someone who makes sexually harassing comments, they are also someone who is apathetic or tolerant towards sexual violence. One either participates in upholding or dismantling rape culture.
Reluctant to Believe Survivors
When they hear about allegations of sexual assault, they immediately ask for proof and claim that the perpetrator is "innocent until proven guilty.”
Why is this a problem? Immediately demanding proof demonstrates that one has an inherent disbelief of survivors and needs to be proven otherwise. While innocent until proven guilty is a good method for our legal system, it is not supposed to be a tool that we rely on in order to demonstrate our support for survivors. Most survivors do not report, and most of those that do report do not get their day in court to prove that the perpetrator is guilty.
Making Excuses
When they or a friend get accused of inappropriate behavior, they shrug it off, downplay it, and insist that the person who committed the act is a good person.
Why is this a problem? No form of sexual violence should be downplayed or ignored and all survivor experiences are valid. Additionally, part of breaking down rape culture is understanding that anyone can be capable of sexual violence; there is no quality that someone can have that absolves them of any guilt. Someone can be a good person to you and be abusive towards someone else.
Definition of Consent
They have a distorted view on how to give and receive consent and deny that certain behaviors are sexually abusive.
Why is this a problem? Someone cannot participate in dismantling rape culture if they do not know what behaviors are wrong. Not only will not understanding consent result in sexual violence, but it will cause them to be dismissive towards acts of sexual violence they hear disclosed.
False Allegation Panic
They wrongly believe that false allegations are a serious threat to them or others and overestimate the prevalence of false allegations, resulting in an inability to provide support to survivors.
Why is this a problem? It is false. False reports are extremely rare. Widely reported statistics put the estimated number of falsely reported assaults at 2-10%. But even this is an overestimation, because a rape has to be reported first in order to be considered falsely reported, and 90-95% of survivors do not report their assault. Therefore, that statistic only applies to 5-10% of assaults, putting the real statistic closer to .5% of disclosures of assault (Heaney 2018).
Reactivity
They get more upset about allegations that they believe are false than allegations that are proven to be true.
Why is this a problem? As mentioned above, false allegations are extremely rare and it is statistically unlikely that a survivor who is disclosing to you is not telling the truth. When someone gets more angry about allegations that they suspect are false than they do over true and proven acts of sexual violence, it demonstrates that they find false allegations of sexual assault worse than sexual assault itself. In reality, sexual violence is a pervasive and undeniable fact that plagues all societies around the world and the extremely low rate of false accusations does not compare in its social impact.
Victim-blaming
They engage in typical victim-blaming behaviors such as asking whether the survivor was drinking or what they were wearing.
Why is this a problem? Victim-blaming is essentially telling survivors that they took actions to deserve or expect their assault. No survivor EVER deserves or invites sexual assault. Engaging in this behavior demonstrates that one finds victims more responsible for their assault than the assailant.
Distorted Views of Sexual Violence
Their understanding of sexual assault does not go much farther than the dark alley stranger stereotype. they have a hard time believing sexual assault that occurs between partners.
Why is this a problem? Sexual violence rarely happens in the ways it is potrayed in the media and almost always involves someone that the survivor knows.
Objectifying Others
They overly sexualize people around them and make inappropriate comments to the person's face or behind their back.
Why is this a problem? This is sexual harassment, which is a form of sexual violence.
Do Not Employ a Zero Tolerance Policy
They continue to associate themselves with friends and acquaintances who have allegations of sexual violence. Additionally, they continue to support celebrities who have allegations against them. They continue to surround themselves with these abusers even after the allegations have been proven. While they may state that they are trying to remain neutral, neutrality only benefits those who are causing harm, not receiving it.
Why is this a problem? Survivors often cannot rely on the traditional justice system to hold the assailant accountable. As a result, they rely on social justice from their friends, family, and peers to hold them accountable by denouncing the behavior on a zero tolerance policy. Sexual violence is never okay and it can never be swept under the rug.
