What Abortion Means to Me, as a Survivor

TW: domestic violence, sexual violence, abortion

It wasn’t that I was planning on getting an abortion. It’s that, once again, I’ve been stripped of control over my own body.

It’s been one year since Roe v. Wade was overturned. Since then, at least 15 states have ceased nearly all abortion services.

Thirteen states have near-total or total abortion bans: Alabama, Arkansas, Idaho, Kentucky, Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, North Dakota, Oklahoma, South Dakota, Tennessee, Texas, and West Virginia (Kekatos & Kindelan, 2023). Utah has an 18-week ban, Arizona and Florida have a 15-week ban, Nebraska and North Carolina have a 12-week ban, and Georgia has a six-week ban.

Most people don’t even know they’re pregnant at six weeks. 

I don’t care if you’ve gotten an abortion or not. I don’t care if you support abortion or not. Take politics out of the picture, religion too. I just don’t want you to tell me what to do with my body.

Political activist Sunsara Taylor worded it perfectly, “How does abortion help women? It means that women are not chattel. They’re not baby-making machines. They’re not incubators. They’re full human beings. … Being forced to have a child against your will is like being forced to have sex against your will. It’s akin to being raped. It is violent control over a woman’s body and her life by a patriarchal male-dominated society” (The Revcoms, 2023).

Taylor isn’t saying that rape causes most abortions. Rather, Taylor explains that forcing a woman to give birth is like forcing her to have sex. The option for her to make that decision for herself has been removed. She has no control over her body. You decided for her.

Terminating legal access to abortions creates an opportunity for abusers to use pregnancy as a form of control over survivors (Rodhe, 2019). Abusers often coerce survivors into “rapid repeat pregnancy,” binding the two in a legal relationship for the protection of the child—one that is nearly impossible to end (WSCADV, 2022). And pregnancy does not diminish the violence. In the United States, the primary cause of death in pregnant individuals is homicide (Rodhe, 2019). That means the abuse continues and oftentimes worsens during and after pregnancy. I’ve spoken with mothers who experienced mental and physical abuse, even days before their due date. A total abortion ban leaves survivors vulnerable and at risk. 

Even when exceptions for survivors are made, they often include strict reporting requirements and fail to account for coercive sex. Even if survivors fit the criteria for an exception, they regularly face strong resistance when trying to obtain reproductive care. And to be honest, when it comes to the issue of abortion, I don’t think most people claiming to be “pro-life” care about survivors of sexual and domestic violence. 

“Here’s what you ghouls don’t understand. I will accept one 10-year-old forced to give birth to her father’s child every year to stop 30k+ other abortions” (Masters, 2023).

I remember when I heard the news about the overturn of Roe v. Wade. I felt helpless. It wasn’t that I was planning on getting an abortion. It’s that, once again, I’ve been stripped of control over my own body.

Sometimes, I feel like reproductive rights is a battle people like me may never win, at least not in the near future. It’s horrifying and has devastating real-life implications. There’s a lot that is out of my control, and I know I’m not alone in this feeling. I wish I had a positive ending for you, that I could give some speech on how I get out of this funk, but that wouldn’t be sincere. I try to remind myself that my body is my body, and no one can take that away from me, but in a way,  the Supreme Court already has. Well, at least we’re in this battle together.

Sources:

• Kekatos, M., & Kindelan, K. (2023, June 22). 1 year since Roe v. Wade was overturned: Abortion in the US told in graphics. ABC News. 

• Masters, K [@sisterinferior]. (2023, June 26). Here’s what you ghouls don’t understand. I will accept one 10-year-old forced to give birth to her father’s child every year to stop 30k+ other abortions [Tweet]. Twitter.

• Rodhe, A. (2019, June 5). How abortion bans impact survivors. Day One. 

• The Revcoms. (2023). UCLA Q&A #:3 How Does Abortion Liberate Women? | Why Did "Woke-ism" Become so Dominant? [Video]. Youtube.

• WSCADV. (2022, May 31). WSCADV statement on Roe V. Wade: People with abusive partners deserve freedom and options. Washington State Coalition Against Domestic Violence (WSCADV).