What Do I Do If I’m Being Stalked?

Written By Elle de los Reyes

First and foremost, no one deserves to be stalked, and no one should have to engage in certain behaviors or make changes to their life as a result of stalking. It is an unfair reality for stalking victim-survivors. Here at PAVE/Survivors.org, we are careful when providing tips such as these, because it may come across as though someone is at fault if they did not take certain steps to “prevent” the stalking.

The truth is no one is at fault for being stalked, and not taking certain steps does not mean the victim-survivor did anything wrong or deserved to be stalked. The blame always lies on the stalker. It is a scary reality that victim-survivors can do everything they can to respond to the stalking and still continue to be stalked. There is no way for us to prevent something that is solely enacted by someone else.

However, many stalking victim-survivors feel helpless, completely unsure how to respond to the stalking. For that reason, here are some steps you can take to respond when you become a victim-survivor of stalking.

Create A Safety Plan

  • Reach out to local or national resources for help creating a safety plan for your unique situation

  • Tell them once to leave you alone so they know their behavior is not wanted, then, cease all contact, even if it is negative

    • Even though it is obvious to us that their actions are inappropriate and classified as harassment, some stalkers may try to find a loophole and if they are not told the behavior is not wanted, they can argue that in court.

  • Trust your instincts

  • Tell family, friends, coworkers, and neighbors about the stalking and what they should do if they encounter the stalker. provide a photo if possible

  • Try switching up common routes you take and your regular schedule if possible

  • Install additional security if possible, such as home surveillance or additional locks

  • Share on a neighborhood app that there is a suspicious person in the area to keep others on alert for your stalker

  • Travel/go out with at least one other person as much as possible

  • Check your electronics for spyware

  • Turn off location sharing services

  • Have an emergency bag packed

  • Identify escape routes in your home, place of work, or school

  • Block all of their accounts and numbers

    • Instagram has a feature to block all accounts an individual may make

Reach Out For Resources

Reach out to a local domestic violence or victim’s rights program. You can find local providers on Survivors.org. Programs that support survivors of domestic violence often will work with stalking victim-survivors even if the stalker is not a former/current intimate partner. The same goes for women’s/children’s services, they can often help you even if you do not identify as a woman. If for whatever reason they are unable to directly support you, they can often direct you to someone who can.

National Resources:

National Domestic Violence Hotline:

Call: 800-799-7233

TTY: 800-787-3224

Text: Start to 88788

Chat: https://www.thehotline.org

Victim Connect Hotline:

Call: 1-855-484-2846

Text: 1-855-484-2846

Chat: https://victimconnect.org/get-help/victimconnect-chat/

Connections for Abused Women and their Children

Call: 1-773-278-4566

Keep A Log

Try to keep track of every time the stalker comes into contact with you, attempts contact with you, or enacts any other stalking behavior. Take photos of or preserve any relevant evidence, including screenshots and witness information. SPARC has an example of a stalking log that you can use to track important information. 

Describe in detail exactly what happened and how it happened:

  • Who did it and how do you know who they are?

  • What exactly did you see and hear?

  • What was said to you and by whom?

  • Was damage caused? If so, what and how?

  • How did it make you feel (were you emotional, angry, upset, frightened etc)?

  • Did anyone else witness the incident/behavior? If they did then note their name, address and telephone number and any other details known to you, e.g. place of work.

Please keep:

  • phone texts and answer phone messages on landlines and mobile phones;

  • relevant letters;

  • video / photos;

  • objects used in incidents;

  • anything else which is relevant to the harassment or antisocial behavior.

  • the person making the entry should sign, date and time each entry.

File Police Reports

Try to file a police report every time the stalker comes into contact with you, presenting the evidence you’ve logged. Explain that the harassment is not just a one-time occurrence, and provide the responding officers with the report number of any prior reports you’ve made. In order to get a stalking charge or a protective order, it’s important to establish a pattern. In some cases, your petition for a protective order may be dismissed if there are no reports made.

Petition for a Protective Order

Every state has a slightly different process when it comes to filing, but here is generally what to expect:

  • Request an application from the court clerk’s office.

  • Fill out the application and submit it.

  • When you submit, a judge may decide to enact a temporary restraining order (TRO) until the court hearing.

  • A court hearing will be scheduled to determine if there is reason to enact a longer-term protective order.

  • When the order expires, you are able to motion to have it extended.

  • Carry a copy with you at all times.

  • Provide a copy to places you frequent such as your work, the security at your apartment, or your school.

WomensLaw.org has detailed information on filing for a protective order for each U.S. State.

Utilize Safety Services

Some services and programs you should know about:

  • RingCentral has donated devices to over a thousand police departments to be given to survivors. Ask your PD if they are part of this program.

  • SoSecure is a free security program by ADT. The higher tiers are less than $10 a month, but the Basic plan is free.

  • Uber has given many DV Shelters the ability to provide free rides for survivors to help them seek safety. Check in with any organization you will be visiting to see if they can help you with your transit.

Document The Abuse

DocumentTheAbuse.com is home of the Evidentiary Abuse Affidavit, a tool to assist those experiencing interpersonal violence in the process of documentation. Victim-survivors can compile police reports, photos, screenshots, hospital reports, videos, and any other evidence they may have. All of this evidence is compiled into a single document which is then witnessed and notarized, meaning that the document is recognized as authentic.


It isn’t fair that you have to take this all on. You shouldn’t have to spend time, money, or alter your life in any way because of unwanted stalking behaviors. Remember: it isn’t your fault if your stalker targets you in any way, and you don’t deserve to be stalked even if you don’t take any of these steps. You did nothing to invite this into your life.

If you still need help finding the resource that is right for you, you can reach out to SurvivorSupport@PavingTheWay.net

Elle de los Reyes
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