Survivor Stories (pt. 1)
Every survivor has their own story, yet not every survivor feels heard. For a multitude of reasons, survivors fear speaking out. And even if they do speak out, that doesn’t mean someone will listen… or believe them. The pieces here were submitted by survivors, some requesting to remain anonymous. Thank you to these survivors for your strength and vulnerability. We hear you. We believe you. We support you.
Grindr and its Negative Effects on Queer Youth
For many queer youths, Grindr is all too familiar. For those unaware, it’s quite simple. Grindr is a social platform where queer individuals, primarily queer men, are able to connect with one another for the purpose of hooking up. While the app can theoretically function for other uses, such as finding dates or making friends, the culture surrounding the app is heavily associated with sex or sexual activity. With over 11 million active monthly users internationally, the platform is no stranger to the queer community. Although Grindr is seen as an easy way to have casual sex, we need to take a deeper look at the dynamics, interactions, and accepted behaviors on this app. By doing so, it can be seen that Grindr harbors a plethora of damaging, dangerous, and outright illegal issues that need to be unpacked, questioned, and expunged.
Pleasure and Healing
After experiencing sexual trauma, it’s normal to feel disconnected from your body. According to psychologist Lauren Moulds, “Often one of the things that we lose is we don't really know anymore what feels good and we don't feel connected or in tune with our body” (Scott, 2019).
Intimacy After Assault
Survivors of sexual assault cope with an abundance of feelings post-assault, often shame and guilt. These feelings stem from having healthy sexuality forced into contact with hostility, victimization, predatory behavior, and social stigma (Kinsey & Henderson, 2022). Guilt and shame may manifest differently in each survivor.
Heard v. Depp: Not A Public Spectacle
In 2018, actress Amber Heard wrote an op-ed for the Washington Post regarding the treatment of women in cases of domestic abuse. In the op-ed, she wrote, “I became a public figure representing domestic abuse, and I felt the full force of our culture's wrath for women who speak out” (Heard, 2018).
Brendan Fraser – "A Moment of Glorious Honesty"
“…And maybe I am overreacting in terms of what the instance was. I just know what my truth is. And it's what I just spoke to you.”
Who are the true victims of the #MeToo Movement?
Harvey Weinstein. Kevin Spacey. Woody Allen. Jeffrey Epstein. Larry Nassar. Bill Cosby. R. Kelly. Armie Hammer. Snoop Dogg. Ansel Elgort. Matt Lauer. Nick Carter.
What do all of these individuals have in common? They’re perpetrators of sexual violence—AKA “victims of the MeToo movement.”
Deepfake Pornography and the Downplay of Image-based Sexual Abuse
Twitch streamer Atrioc was caught purchasing deepfake pornography of fellow female streamers, sparking online discourse around image-based sexual abuse. There are many flaws in the arguments made in Atrioc’s defense, revealing just how much our society downplays these forms of sexual violence. Here, image-based sexual abuse survivor Elle de los Reyes argues against those claims perpetuated by rape culture.
Sexual Coercion
Consent is key to any romantic/sexual relationship. When consent is missing in a relationship, sexual coercion is one of the many forms of different abuse tactics that can be present. Sexual coercion is a type of sexual abuse that is a lot more common than people may believe it is.
The Unspoken Aftermath: Sexual Assault & Forensic Exams
Unfortunately, experiencing an assault of any kind is something that a lot of the general population can relate to. Whether it be a sexual assault, domestic violence, or verbal abuse, there is an unspoken aftermath of these situations that a lot of people don’t talk about in fear of the ‘taboo’ of theses subjects. Dancing around these topics doesn't stop them from happening. While they can be hard to talk about of course, it is important to stay educated if anything ever did happen to you.
Stories for Survivors
Sometimes all you need in life is a good book. Reading stories that you can relate to can make you feel less alone in your healing process. It’s always nice to know someone went through something similar as you did. You can take their lessons they learned and implement them into your life and grow from them. Here are five stories I have recently read and loved, non-fiction and fiction, about trauma and survivors and their journey throughout the ups and downs of recovery and finding a new normal.
Former NFL Player Launches Global Movement to Fight Sexual Assault Predators, Promote Institutional Accountability, and Unite Survivors
Jon Vaughn launches the One Solidarity movement in partnership with the nonprofit Promoting Awareness | Victim Empowerment (PAVE) with support from The Foundation for Global Sports Development.
Tonic Immobility and Victim-Blaming
Tonic immobility (TI) is when your body enters a state in which your musculoskeletal system becomes rigid. You are unable to move and often unable to speak. This reaction is instinctive when a danger is perceived to be unavoidable. The temporary paralysis is also believed to help cope with the fear and pain that comes with experiences of sexual assault.
Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) for PTSD
Complementary and Alternative Medicine (CAM) describes a broad range of methods that are outside of typical Western medical practices. There are many reasons why some might look to this field instead of or in conjunction with Western approaches that consist of doctor-patient relations.
Safe Sport: Athlete-Survivors’ Recourse
The U.S. Center for Safe Sport is a Congressionally-created agency that seeks to prevent sexual abuse in sport and to bring justice to survivors. The Center has power over all Olympic organizations, Paralympic organizations, and NGBs (National Governing Bodies) in the United States. The Center was created by a 2017 Act of Congress, and both receives reports from survivors and mandatory reporters and provides education for adults involved in competitive sports.
Sexual Assault Awareness Month: College Campus Sexual Violence
With the prevalence of sexual assault on college campuses increasing in recent years, it is that much more important to raise awareness surrounding this issue. Although sexual assault can happen to anyone of any age and gender, college-aged women 18-24 years old are are 3x more likely than all other women to be sexually assaulted. Compared to all other crimes, sexual assault is also the most prevalent crime to take place on college campuses.
Is This What Sisterhood Is?: What to do when a sorority sister discloses to you that they have been sexually assaulted
Sisterhood only gets stronger through challenging ourselves to do better and to show up for each other. Sororities should be a safe place where women can turn to their sisters in times of crisis. For more resources to help yourself, a sister or a friend, please check out Survivors.org